Love & Intimacy Between a Husband and Wife

January 11, 2018

I was recently talking to my husband about the account of Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  
 

We know, ultimately, that it was Adam who was responsible for his wife's sin, because God came looking for Adam after they had eaten the fruit:
 

Genesis 3:8-9
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

 

It was Adam's responsibility to protect his wife, and keep her from eating from the forbidden tree, and Adam clearly knew that they were not to eat from it:
 

Genesis 2:15-17
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

 

If Adam clearly knew God had told him not to eat of the tree of knowledge or else he would die, why then did he also eat the fruit when Eve offered it to him?
 

Genesis 3:6  
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

 

The text clearly states that Adam was with Eve when the serpent beguiled her... Was he also beguiled?  Most likely not, since the text does not indicate that.  However, is it possible that Adam ate of the fruit because he could not bear watching his wife face the consequences of death without him?  Was it because he simply loved his wife so much that he was willing to take the fall with her?

 

Adam clearly loved his wife, he even wrote a poem for her when God presented her to him:
 

Genesis 2:23-25

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
 

For whatever Adam's motivations were for partaking in sin with Eve, the consequences that came from God cursed both Adam and Eve in different ways:
 

Genesis 3:16-19

To the woman he said,

“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;  with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

 

To Adam he said, 

“Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’

“Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life.

It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.  By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken;  for dust you are and to dust you will return.”
 

While Adam's work was cursed, Eve was cursed in childbearing and with the desire to rule over her husband.  

Since the beginning of time, women have struggled with wanting to rule over their husbands.  

One of the most common ways I have seen women attempt to gain control of and manipulate their husbands is with sex. 


Oftentimes, women will withhold sex from their husbands to punish him or to force their husbands to give in to them in some way.  This is by far the most destructive practice women can do to their husbands.

 

How can intimacy between a man and woman exist if sex is only a tool to manipulate? Forcing your husband, (who wants to remain faithful to you) into a situation where his sexual desire is frustrated, can potentially lead to infidelity.  For every sexually frustrated man there are plenty of other women waiting to tempt him, using flattering speech and showering him with attention:

 

Proverbs 5:3  
For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil;

 

Instead, God's plan for a husband and wife is to not only be close to one another -- each other's best friend and closest confidant -- but to enjoy sexual intimacy as well:

 

Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

 

Ladies, part of honoring your husband is honoring him physically -- understanding that your husband's desire is to be close with you.  We don't ever need to try to rule over our husbands by withholding physical attention, but should be as interested as he is in being close and maintaining intimacy.  

 

Some of the greatest inspiration for a godly desire for your husband are in the Bible in the book of Song of Solomon:

 

Song of Solomon 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.

 

Song of Solomon 2:4
Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love. 

 

Song of Solomon 2:3
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

 

Song of Solomon 2:6
His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. 

 

Song of Solomon 3:4
Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother's house, to the room of the one who conceived me.

 

Clearly the wife of Solomon desired him and looked forward to being close with her husband.  This is a godly desire and one that fulfills our husbands needs as well.  Let's change our hearts, and instead of ruling over our husbands, let us love them the way God designed. 

 Anna Cheslick is the wife of Scott Cheslick and the creator of Humble Woman Ministries.  Scott and Anna created Pure Word Ministries in December of 2017 as a means of Evangelical outreach through Social Media.

Her passion is writing about God's Word in order to build-up, encourage and edify others and to glorify God.

 

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